The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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