she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
