How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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