He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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