Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She announced her abortion via fbk
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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