I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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