I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
