some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
