Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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