your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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