At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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