There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
