My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
