alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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