i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize