i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
