Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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