I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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