i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
