in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize