also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
