I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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