ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
