Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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