Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
