no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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