Taylor Swift is so right about you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize