Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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