worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
