I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
