i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
