I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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