If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
