my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
