No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
