when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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