I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
