You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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