So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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