the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
NoShamevember. You game?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
