ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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