Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
