I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
