i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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