I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
