I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize