i just snorted my name. best moment ever
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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