she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
