i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
