Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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