FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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