Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
