apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
