I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
do herpes really smell.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
