I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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