Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
