this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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