Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize