there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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