Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
