she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
