that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
