I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize