She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
