Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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