I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
