This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
