If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
