dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
