my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize